


Sanctuary

by anastiel



Series: Supernatural Codas [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Coda, Episode: s11e21 All In The Family, M/M, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6871576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as Cas wants this all to be real, logically, he knows it isn’t. He doesn’t care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sanctuary

_ I made this place for you. A place for you to love me.  _

_ If this isn’t the kingdom, then I don’t know what is. _

_ \--  _ Snow and Dirty Rain by Richard Siken 

 

The television buzzes, frequency off just a notch. Black and white static snow covers the already black and white picture of the five hour long Three Stooges marathon playing. Cas leans back in the small wooden chair, trench coat falling open around him. He props his feet up on the edge of the table beneath the TV, resting back against the chair. A cup of hot coffee warms his hands, pure black and its aroma wafts into his nose. He’s on hour two of the marathon. He switched over to something more lighthearted than Orange is the New Black after Amara captured Lucifer. The show reminds him of Dean, reminds him of his laugh, the upbeat happy one Cas has only been privileged enough to hear on a few occasions.

Recently, the memory of Dean’s laugh is the only thing keeping him sane. 

He takes a measured sip of the coffee, enjoying the hot glide down his throat. The static increases in front of him picture flicking to black and then opening again, an eye to the outside world. Amara appears on the screen, eyes piercing, hands outstretched towards him. He’s on some sort of platform, tied up, unable to get free. But Lucifer is trying, Cas can feel it. A jolt of electricity shoots out of her hands, beaming to Lucifer’s temples. Lucifer screams, and it echoes throughout Cas’ makeshift bunker. He slams his eyes shut, and covers his ears with flat palms to block out the sound, coffee cup clattering to the floor, spilling all over his pants. 

He waits and waits and waits until he can’t hear anything anymore. Hesitant, he opens one of his eyes a sliver and peeks out. The kitchen of the bunker is dim, the only light coming from the oven. Dean always leaves it on at night just in case someone wakes up and needs something in the middle of the night. The television is on, working properly and Road Runner is streaming across his screen. Cas removes his palms from his ears, and sighs in relief when all he hears is the peppy intro of a new episode starting. 

“Cas?”

Cas half-jumps out of the chair, head jerking towards the voice, but relaxes immediately when he sees the familiar figure in the doorway. 

“Dean?” 

“Morning,” Dean says, stepping out of the shadows and into the kitchen. Cas blinks at him, confused. Dean has appeared to him here before, but never like this. Dean’s hair is spiked up on his head, pointing every which way. He’s clad only in a pair of black boxers and a thin t-shirt, and sporting two day old scruff. He looks just as beautiful as always. Dean pads forward, gently slipping a soft warm palm into Cas’ hair, pressing his hip up against Cas’ shoulder. “What are you doing awake so early? I woke up and the bed was cold.”

Cas stares up at Dean’s twinkling, love-filled eyes in disbelief, unable to suppress a sigh as Dean scratches his scalp with his fingers. 

“I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t want to wake you,” Cas offers, hoping Dean buys his excuse.

Dean smiles at him, soft, and he slides his hand down from Cas’ hair, down the smooth line of his neck to rest at the top of Cas’ spine. His thumb rubs easy smooth circles there like he’s done this before. “You wanna come back to bed for awhile?” He asks. “We still have a few hours left before we need to be up. Sam’s making breakfast this morning.”

As much as Cas wants this all to be real, logically, he knows it isn’t. He doesn’t care. 

“Okay,” Cas agrees, looking up at Dean, the corners of his mouth tipped up into a small smile. 

Dean steps back from him, hands outstretched to help Cas to his feet. Gratefully, Cas places his palms into Dean’s, allowing Dean to pull him up. Once he’s steady on his feet, Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ waist, pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. It’s just a peck, but it’s more than Cas ever dreamed he would get. Dean rests their foreheads together momentarily, eyes locked on Cas’, and then pulls away, intertwining one of his hands into Cas’. 

“C’mon,” he says softly, tugging lightly on Cas’ hand towards the hallway. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

Once inside the safety of Dean’s room, Cas allows himself to look,  _ really _ look at Dean. Dean is wandering around the room, turning on the lamp to a low setting and throwing back the covers so they can both climb in. He does it all with a permanent soft smile etched onto his face. His happiness is so evident and so pure, Cas has to fight back tears. If only he could make the real Dean this happy. 

Dean meets his eyes across the room, and his smile falls when he notices the solemn look on Cas’ face. 

“You okay?” He asks. He walks over to Cas, comforting hands sliding along his waist. Cas basks in the feel of Dean’s hands, in awe of how easily Dean touches him.

“I’m wonderful,” Cas replies, leaning forward to capture Dean’s lips in his. Dean’s smile returns when they pull apart, and Cas’ heart flips around in his chest.  _ He _ makes Dean so happy. 

Dean’s hand move from his waist, sliding up to push the coat off of Cas’ shoulders. It drops to the floor with a swish, and then Dean’s slow, but eager fingers start undoing shirt and tie. Cas helps him with the pants, and pulls off his own shoes. He feels weirdly exposed like this, mostly naked except for his boxers. He flushes when Dean’s hands touch his bare skin, warm palms resting just below his ribs. Dean gives him a blatant look-over and steps forward, hot mouth leaving an open-mouthed kiss against Cas’ neck. 

“Gorgeous,” He murmurs. Cas feels his pulse flutter against Dean’s lips as Dean leaves one, two, three, more kisses and then his mouth is gone. 

“Let’s get in bed,” Dean says, taking Cas’ hand again and gently pulling him the few remaining steps to the bed. 

They crawl in, Cas on the right and Dean on the left. Cas moves to face Dean. Their hands are still joined, he’s unwilling to let go. Dean’s already facing him, a shy smile on his face. 

“I know it’s your night to be the big spoon,” Dean starts, eyes darting away from Cas’, “But I just really wanna hold you right now, is that okay?”

Cas squeezes Dean’s hand, biting his lip to fight back the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. 

“It’s more than okay,” Cas answers. He presses a kiss against Dean’s cheek, then his nose, and the top of his forehead, because he can. After he’s done and Dean’s shy smile has been replaced with that love-sick one he saw earlier, Cas turns away from Dean’s face. Regretfully, he releases Dean’s hand, but his loss is soon soothed when one of Dean’s arms wraps around his waist. He scoots back until his back hits Dean’s chest and he’s surrounded by nothing but Dean. 

If Cas could choose his heaven, this is what he’d want it to be. 

Dean’s breath ghosts warm across the back of his neck and onto his cheek. Cas lays his hand on top of Dean’s where it rests on his tummy, slipping his fingers between Dean’s. Dean squeezes his hand gently, tightening his hold around Cas. 

“See you in a few hours,” Dean murmurs. 

Cas makes a noise of agreement, already feeling a wave of fatigue hit him. He’s not allowed himself to rest in his own head, clearly it’s been taking a toll on him.

“Love you,” Dean says pressing a soft kiss to the back of Cas’ neck. 

All the breath leaves Cas’ lungs in shock, but somehow, in a quiet but certain voice he replies, “Love you too.”

His eyes slip close, and he lets himself melt and be enveloped into Dean’s embrace until the only thought in his head is _Dean, Dean, Dean._

______________________________________________________________________________________

Cas wakes in a few hours alone, and sitting in the same stiff-backed chair Dean found him in earlier. The television is in front of him, on, and Amara is rearing back, hands poised ready to shoot another burst of electric power into Lucifer. 

Lucifer’s screams are louder this time, deeper, and animalistic. And he begs, and pleads to the father who abandoned him to rescue him. Cas brings his knees to his chest, muttering Dean’s name under his breath. His hands are wet from his own tears and he can’t he can’t he can’t. 

He slams his eyes shut and goes back to Dean.

 


End file.
